ARR 404-406

CCAR RESPONSA

American Reform Responsa

132. Jewish Marriage Without Children

(1979)QUESTION: Is it possible to have a valid Jewish marriage without children? Should a rabbi perform such a marriage when a couple specifically states that they plan to have no children? (Michael A. Robinson, Croton-on-Hudson, New York)ANSWER: First, we should address the validity of a marriage without children. There is no doubt that procreation, companionship, joy, unity of the family, etc., are basic elements of marriage as seen by the Jewish tradition (Ket. 8a). Procreation was considered essential as already stated by the Mishna: “A man may not desist from the duty of procreation unless he already has children” (Yev. 6.6). The Gemara to this concluded that a man may marry a barren woman if he has fulfilled this mitzvah of procreation, as in any case he should not remain unmarried (Yev. 61b). If the parties marry beyond the years when child-bearing is possible, or if one of them is sterile, the same wedding blessings are, nevertheless, recited (Abudarham, Birchot Erusin, 98a). There was a difference between the schools of Hillel and Shammai about what was required to fulfill the mitzvah of procreation. The tradition followed Hillel, who minimally required a son and daughter, yet the codes all emphasize the need to produce children beyond that number (Tos. Yev. 8; Yad, Hil. Ishut, 15.6; Shulchan Aruch, Even Ha-ezer 1.5). Tradition emphasized the need for a greater number of children as the fulfillment of two Biblical verses: Is. 45:18, “He created the world for habitation (lashevet),” and Eccl. 11:6, the obligation to sow seed in the evening (la-erev) as well as in the morning. In other words, one should constantly expand the Jewish population (Yev. 62a,b). This was also in keeping with the thought that before the Messiah could come, all the souls waiting for bodies will have to be placed into the world (ibid.; Nidda 13b). During our entire history, persecution and natural disaster have decimated our people, and so repopulation has always been emphasized. Lack of children was considered grounds for divorce after a decade of childless marriage, but Isserles indicated that nowadays we do not force the issue and permit the couple to remain together (Isserles to Shulchan Aruch, Even Ha-ezer 1.3 and 8; also Isserles to 154.10). This was particularly true if the man had already had children by a previous marriage. All of this makes it clear that children were considered essential to a marriage, and it was considered desirable to have a large number of children, but a marriage without them was also condoned (Abraham di Boton, Lechem Mishneh to Yad, Hil. Ishut 4.10; Yair Hayyim Bacharach, Chavat Ya-ir, #221). The strictest interpretation of the traditional Halacha which makes a distinction between the obligations of men and women (a distinction not accepted by Reform Jews) would allow a woman to marry a sterile male, since the obligation of procreation was not incumbent upon her. When the husband or wife was sterile and it was not possible to have children, the marriage was always considered valid (bedi-avad); i.e., since it had been entered in good faith, it need not be terminated, as mentioned earlier. This was stressed by Maimonides, who considered such a marriage valid under any circumstances (Yad, Hil. Ishut 4.10), whether the individual was born sterile or was sterilized later. Later authorities went somewhat further, and Yair Hayyim Bacharach stated that as long as the prospective wife realized that her prospective husband was infertile, though sexually potent, and she had agreed to the marriage, it was valid and acceptable (Chavat Ya-ir, #221). Isaac b. Sheshet (Responsa, #15) permitted a couple who knew that they would not have children to become married. As long as both were fully aware of the situation, it was permissible, even lechatechila. In sum, the traditional attitude was as follows: our tradition encourages marriage for the purpose of procreation and would strongly urge all couples to have children. However, if they enter the marriage fully aware of the refusal of one or the other to have children–either because of a physical defect or because of an attitude–the marriage can be considered valid, either lechatechila or bedi-avad. Nothing should prevent a rabbi from conducting such a marriage; although some rabbis would refuse to officiate. In light of the Holocaust and the current diminution of the world Jewish population, it is incumbent upon each of us to urge Jewish couples to have two or more children. Although young people may marry reluctantly and late, the marriage at least represents a step in the direction of children. In Jewish law, the marriage is valid, yet given the Reform emphasis on the underlying spirit of the law as a guide to modern practice, marriage without children is very distant from the Jewish ideal of marriage. The letter may permit it, but we must encourage every couple to have at least two children.Walter Jacob, ChairmanLeonard S. KravitzW. Gunther PlautHarry A. RothRav A. SoloffBernard ZlotowitzSee also:S.B. Freehof, “A Wife Who Cannot Bear Children,” Recent Reform Responsa, pp. 155ff.

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