CCAR RESPONSA
Contemporary American Reform Responsa
168. Jewish Bridesmaid at a Christian
Wedding
QUESTION: May a Jewish girl be a bridesmaid in a Christian
wedding ceremony which will be held in a Christian church? (Rabbi L. Winograd, McKeesport, PA)
ANSWER: This question involves our relationship with Christians and the
nature of the bridesmaids’ involvement in the wedding ceremony. Let us look at each of these matters separately.
In the Biblical and Talmudic periods, concern about relations with
idolaters was constantly voiced. The entire tractate Avodah Zarah deals with every conceivable association with pagans, including worship and business matters, as well as social contacts. Although these laws continue to appear in the later codes, they were hardly applicable to anyone by the Middle Ages, as both Christians and Muslims were considered as monotheists and in the category of gerei toshav (Menahem Meiri, Bet Habehira to Avodah Zarah 20a; Meir of Rothenburg, Responsa #386; Isaac of Dampierre, Tosfot to San. 63b; Bekh. 2b; Tur Yoreh Deah 148; Shulhan Arukh Yoreh Deah 148.12). Orthodox authorities as Emden, Bacharach and Ashkenazi, at the beginning of the modern era, also stressed a positive outlook toward non-Jews (A. Shohet, “The German Jew: His Integration Within the Non-Jewish Environment in the First Half of the Eighteenth Century,” Zion, Vol. 21, 1956, pp. 229 ff). The Reform Movement has continued this trend, and the responsa of our movement make this clear, as do numerous resolutions of the Central Conference of American Rabbis (Solomon B. Freehof, Reform Responsa and succeeding volumes; W. Jacob, American Reform Responsa).
This positive outlook toward Christianity
has not been shared by some scholars living in the Muslim world, so for example, Maimonides sometimes considered Christianity as a form of idol worship (Yad Hil. Avodat Kokhavim 9.4; Hil. Maakhalot Asurot), although he, too, had some positive thoughts about Christianity (Yad Hil. Melakhim 11.4). Of course Maimonides dealt with Christianity in the abstract in contrast to the other authorities who lived in a Christian world. On other occasions he felt that Christians or Muslims should be considered as gerei toshav. They would assist in the preparation for the Messianic era (Yad Hil. Melahim 8.11 and Hil. Teshuvah 3.5; Edut. 11.10; see also “A Rabbi at a Christian Ordination Service” for additional references).
In more recent times, some authorities have again viewed the trinitarian element of
Christianity as shituf in an effort to create a firmer distinction between Judaism and Christianity (David Hoffmann, Melamed Lehoil Yoreh Deah 2.148). Others have not felt threatened, so David Hoffmann’s Berlin colleague, Marcus Horovitz, who was equally Orthodox, did not follow this line of reasoning and considered Christianity as monotheistic (David Ellenson, Jewish Covenant and Christian Trinitarianism,” R. A. Brauner, Jewish Civilization: Essays and Studies,Volume III, pp. 86 ff).
Our general mood is to consider Christianity as
monotheistic. Although assimilation represents a danger for us, conversion to Christianity is extremely rare and presents no threat. We may, therefore, associate with Christians freely.
Let us turn to the second matter at issue. Is a bridesmaid in any way an active
participant in the worship element of a Christian service? Public participation in contrast to attendance in a specifically Christian service is prohibited. Acts like kneeling, bowing, etc. would be prohibited for Jews. Generally a bridesmaid simply stands in attendance and is, therefore, only in attendance but not a participant. She is singled out for this honor as a token of friendship. As long as she does not participate in any act of worship, her participation is permissible.
We can see, therefore, that as we consider Christianity as a monotheistic
religion, we can be present at a Christian service, although we may not participate in the acts of worship themselves. The young lady may attend as a bridesmaid but she may not kneel or do anything which may be considered as participation in a Christian worship service.
July 1986
If needed, please consult Abbreviations used in CCAR Responsa.