CCAR RESPONSA
Contemporary American Reform Responsa
200. Lesbians and Their Children
QUESTION:
Two women who are in a lesbian relationship have raised a child who has been adopted by one of them. The child has been formally converted to Judaism with berit milah and miqveh. This was done like any other conversion and posed no problems. Now, however, the child is about to be Bar Mitzvah and the two women want to participate in the service as any parents. Should they be permitted to do so? (Rabbi M. Staitman, Pittsburgh, PA)
ANSWER: Although Jewish tradition from the Bible onwards strongly
condemns homosexuality, it has rather little to say about lesbianism. Some of the sources indicate that it may have been treated as a temporary phenomenon, rather than as a permanent condition among women. So, the Talmud (Shab. 65a; Yeb. 76a) and the Sifrei (9.8) prohibit sexual intercourse between women, but do not specify any punishment. They state that such a woman was permitted to marry even into the priesthood. As lesbianism was considered obscene, later sources demanded punishment (makot mardut) for those involved (Yad Hil. Issurei Biah 21.8; Shulhan Arukh Even Haezer 20.2). As, however, there was no Biblical basis for such punishment, there was also little further discussion in responsa literature.
We should be guided by these feelings and by our tradition’s
strong support of normative family life. Everything which we do should strengthen the family. We should, therefore, ignore the lesbian relationship and feel no need to deal with it unless the individuals involved are flagrant about their relationship and make an issue of it. If they do not, then their lesbian relationship is irrelevant; it should not be recognized. They should be permitted, along with other individuals both male and female, to participate in the Torah readings as well as other portions of the Friday-shabbat service. This will indicate to both the congregation and this household that we recognize the love and care given to the child and do not focus on or recognize the lesbian relationship.
March 1986
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