CCAR RESPONSA
Contemporary American Reform Responsa
61. A Child Raised in Two Religious
Traditions
QUESTION: A couple in which the wife is Jewish and the
husband is Christian were married by a priest and a rabbi. Their child has been baptized and
circumcised. During the early years of the boy’s life, he went to religious school sporadically, but
now the parents wish to enroll him in Hebrew classes as well as regular religious school class in
preparation for Bar Mitzvah. Further probing shows that they also intend to have him
prepared for First Communion. What is the status of this child? Should he be enrolled in the
Bar Mitzvah program? Would the answer to the question be different if the mother were
Christian and the father Jewish? (M. K., St. Louis, MO).ANSWER: The status of a
Jewish child, according to tradition, is determined by the Jewishness of the mother. We, as
Reform Jews, changed this through a resolution passed by the Central Conference of American
Rabbis, in 1983, which stated: “The Central Conference of American Rabbis declares
that the child of one Jewish parent is under the presumption of Jewish descent. This presumption
of the Jewish status of the offspring of any mixed marriage is to be established through
appropriate and timely public and formal acts of identification with the Jewish faith and people.
The performance of these mitzvot serves to commit those who participate in them, both
parents and child, to Jewish life. “Depending on circumstances, mitzvot
leading toward a positive and exclusive Jewish identity will include entry into the covenant,
acquisition of a Hebrew name, Torah study, Bar/Bat Mitzvah, and Kabbalat
Torah (Confirmation). For those beyond childhood claiming Jewish identity, other public acts
or declarations may be added or substituted after consultation with their rabbi.” This
means that the child of a Jewish mother or a Jewish father is potentially Jewish if the parents act
to assure the Jewish identity of the child through education, appropriate ceremonies, etc. Here,
of course, the parents have done that, but have also, and at the same time, provided the
youngster with a Christian identity. Furthermore, we are faced with two religious traditions which
place exclusive claims upon a child. Traditional Judaism would insist that this child, by virtue of
its Jewish mother, remains Jewish regardless of any actions which may be taken on its behalf or
which the child may take. He would be considered an apostate because he is affiliated with
Christianity, but he would always be welcome to return to Judaism with a minimum of ceremony.
On the other hand, Catholicism places a similarly exclusive claim on the child by virtue of his
baptism, although this need not concern us. We would say to the parents that
although their family life thus far has followed a dual path, they have now come to a juncture at
which a decision must be made. It would have been much simpler if such a decision had been
made at the time of their marriage, then some of these problems would not have arisen. Now,
however, the child must follow one religious tradition or another. We can not in good conscience
prepare a child for Bar Mitzvah with the knowledge that at the same time he is being
prepared for First Communion. Furthermore, the child will not be helped by this equivocal stand
of the parents, for he will merely be confused, both now and in the future when his status will
remain a puzzle to him. This matter must be settled at this moment, and we must insist on a
decision for this child. The rabbi and the congregation should be absolutely certain that the path
upon which the parents agree will be followed and should ask for such an agreement in
writing.September 1983
If needed, please consult Abbreviations used in CCAR Responsa.