CCAR RESPONSA
New American Reform Responsa
149. Responsibility Toward a Drug User
QUESTION: What kind of ethical responsibility do parents have toward their son now in his thirties who is married and on drugs? There is considerable tension between the parents and both son and daughter-in-law. (Errol Canter, San Diego CA)
ANSWER: There is surprisingly little information about the use of drugs in the vast responsa literature. Although hundreds of thousands of responsa exist and many of them from societies in which drugs were widely used this does not seem to have been a Jewish problem in earlier periods. Certainly the use of drugs is prohibited as is anything else which may seriously injure an individual (Deut 4.9; 4.15; Ber 32b; B K 91b; YadHil Rotzeah Ushemirat Hanefesh 11.4; Hil Shavuot 5.57; Hil Hovel Umaziq 5.1). No one is to endanger their life or permanently effect their health in a negative fashion.
We must, however, ask whether this remains the responsibility of the parents or is it entirely in the hands of the younger generation. The traditional view has parents responsible for the acts of their children to the age of maturity. In an earlier time this was at age thirteen (Bar Mitzvahor puberty). In our age, although this remains technically so, parental responsibility in fact continues through the years of further education often to the end of college or certainly until secular legal maturity is reached at age twenty-one. After that time, although parents may advise and often will be called upon to help, their responsibility is limited. They may be much saddened and may feel guilty about what they did or did not do earlier in life. Most of these feelings are misplaced as someone in his thirties is completely independent and should be responsible for his own actions. It would be wise if the parents continue to be helpful and try to get the young man involved in a treatment program but direct responsibility is no longer theirs.
June 1989
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