CCAR RESPONSA
New American Reform Responsa
214. Siberian Wedding
QUESTION: A couple recently emigrated to the United States from the Soviet Union and have asked whether they need a Jewish wedding ceremony. They were married in a Siberian prison camp simply by declaring their intent to marry each other. Two Jewish witnesses were present, they exchanged a small object of value, but there were no written documents and no traditional ceremony. (Sylvan Schwartz, Miami FL)ANSWER: There are three ways of effecting a marriage: (a) The most common form featured a document witnessed by two competent individuals and handed by the groom to the bride (Kid 9a; Shulhan Arukh Even Haezer 32.1-4). This has remained the essential covenant of the modern wedding. The document is the modern ketubah signed by two witnesses. (b) In addition, it was possible to effect a marriage through the transfer of an item of value (kesef) in the presence of two competent witnesses. This remains as part of the modern wedding in the form of presenting a ring with the formula “harei at mequdeshet…” (Kid 2a, b; Shulhan Arukh Even Haezer 27.1); a minyan was required from the Middle Ages onward to avert some specific problems. Yet a marriage is valid bediavad without a minyan. (c) Finally, marriage can be effected through intercourse (biah) preceded by a statement indicating the wish to take this woman as wife in the presence of two witnesses who saw the couple leave for a private place (Kid 9b; Shulhan Arukh Even Haezer 33.1). The last method was severely frowned upon by the rabbis, but, bediavad, it is valid. Marriage simply through intercourse with proper intent would be akin to “common law” marriage. In this case we have a couple who lived together with the intent of marriage. They were both adults and knew what they were doing. They sought to make it as Jewish as possible by transferring an item of value in the presence of two adult Jewish witnesses. Since that time they have lived together as man and wife both in the Soviet Union and now in the United States; nothing further is necessary. If they wish to participate in one of the numerous communal “Jewish weddings” created for the benefit of Russian Jewish immigrants in various American cities, that is fine, but such a ceremony is not essential for their marriage to be Jewishly recognized.September 1990
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