CCAR RESPONSA
New American Reform Responsa
215. Marriage with a Unitarian Universalist
QUESTION: A young Jewish couple wishes to marry. The woman is of Jewish parentage and was raised as a Jew. She was married for twelve years to a non-Jew and has two children age seven and fourteen. For the past four years she has been affiliated with a Unitarian Universalist Fellowship and for eighteen months has been employed as their Director of Religious Education. She is active in this fellowship as are her children yet all of them consider themselves to be Jews and conduct some Jewish rituals in their household. The couple is also active in a Jewish congregation and they intend now to raise their children as Jews and send them to the Jewish Religious School. Is it within the framework of Reform Judaism for me to officiate at the wedding? (Rabbi Richard D. Agler, Boca Raton FL)ANSWER: The background and pattern of life of this young woman indicate doubt, searching, and a measure of confusion. Tradition would consider her a Jew, but an apostate. As the children have been enrolled in a “religious school” program of this fellowship, and as she has served as Director of “Religious Education”, this indicates more than a casual affiliation, but a well thought out religious response. You mentioned in your letter that the young couple has now decided that the children would attend the Jewish Religious School. This shows us the future path of the next generation and should be welcomed. However, the young woman’s continued service as Director of Religious Education of the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship would exclude her from the Jewish community. She has left us willingly, without duress, and so we must look upon her and others who have joined various Christian groups in the United States as willing, conscious converts and honor their new religious affiliation. Technically according to our tradition such individuals would continue to be considered as Jews by descent (W. Jacob Contemporary American Reform Responsa #66, 68), but we would not include them in our congregation. Although Unitarian Universalists are not in the same category as Messianic Jews who frequently misrepresent their true affiliation, the Unitarian movement also poses some danger to us. We should therefore not confuse our congregants by creating the impression that members of a Unitarian Universalists group may at the same time be members of our congregation. This is not a philosophical discussion group which provides intellectual stimulation, but a religious fellowship which seeks to continue its tradition into the next generation. The young lady has taken an initial step toward Judaism through the enrollment of her children in the synagogue school. That step should be honored and applauded. However, as long as she remains Director of Religious Education of the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, a rabbi should not participate in her marriage. Perhaps she can be persuaded to give this up and to return fully to the Jewish community where her new husband and her children, by a former marriage are now affiliated.January 1989
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