CCAR RESPONSA
New American Reform Responsa
231. A Lost Ketubah
QUESTION: An elderly couple, who have moved from a house in which they lived for a long time to an apartment, have discovered that their ketubah was lost. Do they need to replace it? They have been married for more than four decades. (Stanley Rosenberg, Atlanta GA)ANSWER: The ketubah is one of three ways through which two Jews may enter a marriage; they are: (a) The most common form featured a deed witnessed by two competent individuals and handed by the groom to the bride (Kid 9a; Shulhan Arukh, Even Haezer 32.1-4). This has remained the essential covenant of the modern wedding. The document is akin to the modern ketubah signed by the two witnesses. (b) In addition, it was possible to effect a marriage through the transfer of an item of value (kesef) in the presence of two competent witnesses. This remains as part of the modern wedding in the form of giving a ring with the formula “harei at mequdeshet…” (Kid 2a, b; Shulhan Arukh Even Haezer 27.1). (c) Finally, marriage can be effected through intercourse (biah) preceded by a statement indicating the wish to take this woman as wife in the presence of two witnesses who saw the couple leave for a private place (Kid 9b; Shulhan Arukh Even Haezer 33.1). The last method was, of course, severely frowned upon by the rabbis, but, bediavad, it is certainly valid. Consent was, of course, necessary (Shulhan Arukh Even Haezer 42.1). The most important aspects of the traditional ketubah are the financial and other stipulations. We use a standardized document which emphasizes the equality of both parties. The signatures on the ketubah attest to the fact that the conditions stated in the document apply to the couple and to their marriage. If there is a conflict or the threat of a divorce, it may be necessary to review the ketubah and the conditions stipulated therein. When all goes well the ketubah may never be read again by the couple or anyone else. Among some modern couples it has become customary to create an illuminated ketubah which occupies a prominent decorative place in the home. However, in most families this document along with others is put away and forgotten. The couple in question has obviously enjoyed many years of happy marriage; they need not worry about their ketubah and should simply enjoy the years which lie ahead for them together.July 1989
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