NRR 130-132

COMFORTING THE BEREAVED ON THE SABBATH

QUESTION:

Certain members of our congregation believe that it is contrary to Jewish law and custom to call on the bereaved to comfort them on the Sabbath. Is this actually so? (Asked by Rabbi Joseph Narot, Miami, Florida.)

ANSWER:

THE PEOPLE who are under the impression that it is contrary to Jewish law or custom to visit the bereaved on the Sabbath are not entirely mistaken. They have either memories or traditions of some local custom to that effect. As a matter of fact, Yechiel Epstein, in his Aruch Ha-Shulchan (Orach Chayim 387:3) discusses the matter and ends his statement by saying, “In our city [Novorodok] it is not the custom to visit the bereaved on the Sabbath.” The well-known Chassidic leader of the past generation, Eliezer Spiro (Der Muncaczer), author of the responsa Minchas Eliezer, also wrote notes to the Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chayim (Nimuke Orach Chayim). I do not have this work with me, but it is quoted by a number of authorities (e.g., Greenwald in Kol Bo, p. 298) as having said, “If people were more worthy, it would be better if they did not visit the bereaved on the Sabbath.” Nevertheless, Spiro does not record (as Epstein did) any actual local custom not to visit the bereaved on the Sabbath.

A local custom in a respected community usually has some basis. In this case, the basis is the general objection to any lamentation or expressions of sorrow on Sabbath or holidays. No penitential prayers (Tachanun) are recited on the Sabbath and holidays. But in addition to this general objection to any expression of sorrow on the Sabbath, there is a specific statement in the Talmud against such Sabbath visitation. In tractate Sabbath 12a, the school of Shammai says that we may not visit the sick or go to comfort the mourners on the Sabbath. This clear prohibition is, of course, based upon the general objection to lamentations and sad prayers on the Sabbath and holidays. But the prohibition is the opinion only of the school of Shammai. The school of Hillel, however, says that we may visit the sick and go to comfort the mourners on Sabbath and holidays.

Of course, since the school of Shammai bases its objection to such visitation on the general avoidance of lamentations and sadness on the Sabbath, there is some concession made in the Talmud to their prohibition. It is as follows: You may visit the sick on the Sabbath, as the school of Hillel says, but you must utter a special formula as follows: “It is the Sabbath; we may not lament, but healing will surely come.” And in fact, some of the later authorities suggest a similar formula when comforting the mourners, as follows: “It is the Sabbath; we may not actively console, but God’s consolation will surely come” (see Magen Avraham to Orach Chayim 287). Maimonides permits visiting the sick and comforting mourners on the Sabbath (Yad, Hil. Shabbat 24:5). The Shulchan Aruch {Orach Chayim 287 and Yore Deah 399:2) states clearly that (whatever formula is used) we may go and comfort the mourners on the Sabbath and holidays. The Magen Av-raham voices some objection to those who refrain from calling on the mourners during weekdays but visit only on the Sabbath; but the Be’er Hetev brushes that objection aside and considers it a special mitzvah to come on the Sabbath.

The latest codification of the laws of mourning (Green-wald, in his Kol Bo, p. 298) says simply that we comfort the mourners on Sabbath, and he gives an interesting justification from Talmud Succah 41b. There we are told that the men of Jerusalem, on the festival of Succos, would go to the synagogue carrying their lulavim, pray the holiday service, then leave the synagogue, carrying their lulavim, and go to comfort the mourners.

So, to sum up: The general objection to expressions of sadness on Sabbath and holidays is the basis of the school of Shammai’s prohibition of visiting the sick and comforting the mourners on the Sabbath. But the school of Hillel disagrees; and the law is according to them, except that on the Sabbath and holidays we avoid too somber a mood during the visit. Whatever objection there may be about visiting the mourners on the Sabbath has found expression in a local custom or two. But this is not the law or the general practice.