DISPUTE OVER CANDLE-LIGHTING AND KIDDUSH

QUESTION:

In our congregation at the Friday night services, women light the Sabbath candles and the congregation remains seated; men recite the Kiddush and the congregation stands. A dispute has arisen on the ground that this indicates greater respect for the man’s part of the service than for the woman’s part of the service. Hence, it is sex discrimination. Are there clear rules as to when the congregation must stand during services? (Asked by Rabbi Stephen S. Pearce, Stamford, Connecticut.)

ANSWER:

A GENERATION AGO this question might have been dismissed as trivial and not worth serious consideration. Nowadays, however, with the nationwide agitation for women’s rights, the charge of such a supposed sex discrimination could well lead to divisive disputes in many a congregation. Therefore nowadays the problem deserves full and careful consideration.

First, let us consider the general question of what tradition demands as to the places in the service where the congregation must stand. This question is not easy to answer, first, because the services are composed of many different elements which have a different legal status, and second, because the law is not always definite as to standing or sitting, and local custom varies. Perhaps it would be helpful just to list what is fairly clear about standing or sitting during the service.

The Sh’ma, the most important part of the service, may be recited when a person is standing or walking or riding, since it is important to recite it at its proper hour (Orach Chayim 63). As for the Shemone Esra, standing is obligatory; hence it is called the Amida. Not only must the worshiper stand when he recites it, but also when the cantor repeats it, and the people must stand (according to the opinion of Isserles, 124:4). All agree that people should stand when the cantor, repeating the Shemone Esra, comes to the Kedusha. As for the reading of the Torah, while there are strict rules against leaving the synagogue during the reading, it is nevertheless not required that people should stand during the reading (146:4). At the Duchan, when the priest blessed the people, it was not necessary for the people to stand (see Be’er Hetev, Note 25 to Orach Chayim 128). There is also a custom (apparently Hungarian) for the congregation to stand while the Ark is open (cf. Contemporary Reform Responsa, p. 38).

Now, specifically as to standing or sitting during the Kiddush in the synagogue—first of all, the status of the Kiddush as part of the public worship is in doubt. Joseph Caro, in Orach Chayim 269, says the Kiddush properly should be recited in the place where the meal is eaten, and that it was inserted into the synagogue worship for the sake of strangers who would eat in the synagogue. Since such meals for strangers on Sabbath eve in the synagogue are no longer provided, Caro says it would be better not to have the Kiddush in the synagogue, and he calls attention to the fact that in Eretz Yisroel they do not have the Kiddush in the Friday evening service at all.

However, we Ashkenazim do have the Kiddush in the synagogue on Friday evenings, and Isserles says it is the general custom to stand up for this Kiddush {Orach Chayim 269). One other dispute about standing or sitting during the Kiddush concerns the Kiddush recited in the Succah. This question is left undecided {Orach Chayim 643:2).

Now, if the status of the Kiddush in the synagogue is debatable, the status of blessing the Sabbath candles in the synagogue is still more debatable. There is some sort of vague precedent for it cited by Isaac Lamperonti in his Pachad Yitzchok under the heading of Hadlakah. He speaks of a custom of giving a man the privilege of kindling the two lights which will stand on the reading desk during the Friday evening service. In general, however, the lighting of the Sabbath eve candles in the synagogue is an innovation of Reform synagogues. It would be impossible for this lighting ceremony to take place in Orthodox synagogues since, especially in winter, the candles are lit after dark. While it is the especial obligation of women to light the Sabbath candles {Orach Chayim 263:3), men too are expected to light them when they are away from home. There is no statement that I have found any where as to whether those who are present at the lighting of the candles should stand or be seated.

As to the general status of women as to taking a public part in Jewish services, it must be understood that whatever participation they have today has been given them by Reform congregations. According to Orthodox law, a woman is not required to recite the daily Sh’ma (Mishnah Berachos 3:3). Authorities disagree as to whether a woman is required to recite the Tefillah (of course, that does not mean she is prohibited from reciting any of the prayers she wishes to recite), but according to the Halachic rule, she cannot discharge the obligation of the congrega-tion by acting as cantor for prayers which she herself is not required to recite. There is an interesting note on this question in the Be’er Hetev to Orach Chayim 106:1, in which he says that most women recite their own devotions. (That is, of course, why the special Techinnos developed for the use of women. See my Conference paper on “Devotional Literature in the Vernacular.”)

In the light of all the above complexities of law and custom, what would be the most correct and also the most practical solution to the problem which the question asked here has presented? There are two possible solutions. One is to exchange the roles of the participants; that is to say, to have a woman occasionally make Kiddush and a man bless the lights. Another possible solution is not to change the roles of the participants but to change the posture of the congregation, namely, that they should stand for both ceremonies or sit for both. Which of these two possible solutions is the better practically and also the more justified of the two by tradition?

The first possible solution—namely, to exchange occa-sionally the roles of the participants—is subject to strong objection as follows: While the legal and traditional status of Kiddush and candle-lighting in the synagogue is rather shaky and uncertain, the status of both of these ceremonies in the home is firmly established both in law and in custom. After all these centuries, candle-lighting and the Kiddush at home have created an almost immovable mental association in the minds of our people. It is the mother who blesses the candles, the father who comes home from the synagogue and makes the Kiddush. This is the revered mental association in the heart of the people of Israel; and so it is neither justified nor wise to tamper with it.

As for the second solution, it is reasonable and has greater justification in the tradition precisely because there is no clear rule to be derived from traditional sources, as seen above, as to standing or sitting during either of those two ceremonies. Therefore, we have more latitude, and from this point of view the second solution is by far the better. We can change the posture of the congregation and make it identical for both ceremonies. Since there is some inclination in the law, as mentioned above, for the people to stand during the Kiddush in the synagogue, the logical solution then would be to have the congregation stand both for the Kiddush and for the candle-lighting.

May this solution be acceptable and end the controversy in the congregation. It seems to me to be the more logical as it is also the more justified of the two by tradition.