Marrying Two Gentiles

You have informed me of your radio program, which is directed to people of all faiths and deals with gen eral questions concerning the spiritual and personal life. A Christian man and a Christian woman, living in separate cities, whose respective personal problems (set forth in letters to you from them) were discussed over your radio program, thus became acquainted with each other and now desire to marry. Since it was through you that they became acquainted, they are eager that you officiate at their marriage. You ask whether it would be contrary to the spirit of Jewish law and tradition for you to marry them. (To Rabbi Joseph Fink, Buffalo, New York)

This question could hardly have come up in Jewish law before modern times. Church law would have prohibited a rabbi officiating at the marriage of Christians. Nor would the spirit of the times have been such that a Christian couple would ever think of asking a rabbi to marry them. Besides the difference in the spirit of the times, there is a significant difference in the present-day relationship of a rabbi and other ministers toward the law of the state. A minister in America is in a definite sense an officer of the state. Whatever marriage he solemnizes is therefore valid under state law, even though it might not be valid under the law of the minister’s own religion. For example, although according to Roman Catholic law a priest could not marry two Protestants, nevertheless, if he did so, the marriage would certainly be valid under state law. Thus, whatever Jewish law might think of a rabbi officiating at the marriage of two Christians, such a marriage would be valid under the laws of the state.

But you ask specifically, What would Jewish law and tradition say of your officiating at such a marriage? It is obvious that this question could not have come up directly in traditional law, but there is enough analogous material to lead us to a definite opinion as to what the attitude of Judaism is toward a Jew who aids in bringing about a Christian marriage.

The question comes up as to whether a Jew may act as a Schadchen (a go-between) in arranging for the marriage of two Christians. This question is dealt with by Chaim Benvenisti in “Shiyurey Kenesses Hagdola,” Yore Deah 154, and is quoted from that source by a number of authorities, for example, by Ishmael Ha-Cohen in “Zera Ernes” III, 106. It is also discussed by Jair Chaim Bachrach in his “Chavos Jair” #185; by Judah Assad in “Yehuda Ya’aleh” I, 230b; by Wolf Leiter in “Bays Dovid” #50 (p. 54a); and, most recently, by Mordecai Breisch, Rabbi of Zurich, in his “Chelkas Ya’akov,” Yore Deah II, 174.

All these authorities, recognizing that even this question of Schadchonus for a Christian marriage is not dealt with in the older law, connect it with a question that is discussed in the law, and which reveals the attitude of Judaism to non-Jewish marriage, namely, whether a Jewess may act as a midwife for a non-Jewess, and, by implication, whether a Jewish physician may give a Gentile woman such gynecological aid as will enable her to bear children.

This question of midwifery is discussed in the Mishna (Avoda Zara II, 1), which says simply that a Jewess may not be a midwife to an idolatress because she thereby helps add an idolater to the world. However, the Talmud (ad loc, p. 27a) says, in the name of Rabbi Joseph, that if she is a professional (or for pay), she may do so, for otherwise it would create ill will (M’shum Evah). That is to say, a professional midwife who works for pay could not refuse, as an amateur might refuse, without creating ill will, and therefore she may officiate. The law in its final form, in the Shulchan Aruch (Yore Deah 154 : 2) remains thus, that where the refusal will create ill will, the Jewess may be a midwife for a non-Jewess.

An important element in the whole discussion comes up in the passage from “Shiyurey Kenesses Hagdola,” mentioned above, that the people we deal with (in that case, Mohammedans) are not idolaters, and therefore the reason given in the Mishna, that such midwifery would increase the number of idolaters, does not apply. And, in fact, as quoted by Bachrach (see above), Nachmanides himself gave healing to non-Jewesses that they might produce children. Upon this basis, almost all the authorities, in discussing Schadchonus between two Gentiles, grant that it is permitted. Some, such as Bachrach, do not like to encourage it, but Judah Assad and almost all the others say that it is permitted without any doubt.

Therefore, since it is permitted to help in Christian marriage and since a modern rabbi is also an officer of the state, there could hardly be a strong legal objection from the point of view of Jewish law to his officiating.

There are, however, certain important cautions which must be considered. Jewish marriage (Kiddushin) cannot apply to non-Jews (Ayn Kiddushin Tofsin; see Shulchan Aruch, Even Hoezer 44 : 8). This does not mean that we do not recognize the validity of marriage between non- Jews. Their marriage is a real marriage, but it is not a Jewish marriage (Yad, Issure Biah XIV, 19). Therefore you cannot marry them with Jewish ritual “according to the law of Moses and Israel.” The ceremony must be a generally religious one, not specifically Jewish. You are marrying them as a minister authorized by the state, but not specifically as a rabbi.

Yet if you officiate at many such marriages, a danger may arise. Candidates for mixed marriages will come to you and will not understand why you will marry two Christians, and yet will refuse to marry a couple where one of them is a Jew. If, however, it is only on rare occasions that you marry two Christians, such a danger is not likely to arise.

To sum up: Since you are not only a rabbi, but also an officer of the state, and since Jewish law is not opposed to furthering Christian marriage, and since refusal in this case would be provocative of ill will (M’shum Evah); if, further, such a marriage will very rarely be performed by you—perhaps not even once again—it is not incompatible with the mood of Jewish tradition, liberally interpreted, for you to officiate.