Bar Mitzvah on Yom Kippur

A boy was called up to the Torah on Yom Kippur for his Bar Mitzvah and then the family had the party on Sunday. Was this proper procedure? (From Rabbi Charles Mantinband, Hattiesburg, Mississippi)

Why did the family want to have the boy called to the Torah on Yom Kippur? Was it because he was born on Yom Kippur and that day was his birthday by the Hebrew calendar, or by chance by the secular calendar (according to which his birth date happened that year to fall on Yom Kippur)? That is not a sufficient reason. Bar Mitzvah does not have to come on an exact day as must, for example, circumcision. Circumcision must be on exactly the eighth day (Bizmano); if the eighth day falls on Yom Kippur, the circumcision must take place on Yom Kippur. But with regard to Bar Mitzvah, there is only one chance in seven that the boy is thirteen exactly on his Bar Mitzvah Sabbath. Thus, the ceremony does not need to be on Yom Kippur even if it is his birthday. It can take place as is customary, on the Saturday following.

Or perhaps it was not the boy’s birthday and the family wanted the Bar Mitzvah on that day since there would then be a large congregation present. There is a certain justification for a sort of “publicity” in Bar Mitzvah. Some of the scholars say that the father has the boy called to the Torah on the Sabbath (and not, for example, on Monday or Thursday) when the Torah is read, since on that day there is a larger congregation and the Bar Mitzvah is a public declaration that the boy is now of age religiously. Yet it was never heard of that the father would wait for a special Sabbath (such as the monthly Sabbath of the blessing of the New Moon) in order that there might be a still larger congregation present. The custom was simply that on the Sabbath after the boy is thirteen he was called to the Torah, and that was “publicity” enough to inform the congregation that he was of age.

But why not Yom Kippur? Is it not called the Sabbath of Sabbaths? Of course the laws governing Bar Mitzvah are not so well developed that such a question can be answered simply by reference to a clear statement in the codes. There are really only two references as to the Bar Mitzvah ceremony in the Shulchan Aruch, Orah Hayyim 225 : 2, in a brief note by Isserles, and then Abraham Gombiner (Mogen Avraham ad loc.) adds that it is a mitzvah for the father to give a party (Seuda) on the day when his son is Bar Mitzvah. Speaking of the party, Solomon Luria (in Yam Shel Shelomo to Baba Kamma, chap. 7, #37) says that the party ought to be a sort of religious party (Seudas Mitzvah) in that the boy gives a learned discourse. But at all events, the party was properly given on the same Sabbath when the boy was called to the Torah. This reveals to us what the mood of Bar Mitzvah should be: a day of quiet joy, a family feast of thanksgiving. This is appropriate for any Sabbath, for the Sabbath is meant to be a day of joy of the spirit (Oneg Ruach).

But Yom Kippur must be far different. It is meant to be a day of the affliction of the spirit, a day of confession and of repentance. Clearly the joyous mood of Bar Mitzvah is appropriate for the Sabbath, on which it is always held, but is in jarring disharmony with the spiritual affliction of Yom Kippur.

Considering Solomon Luria’s doubts about the Bar Mitzvah ceremony itself (he believes that the boys are often not physically mature enough), there surely is no harm in wait-ing for the Saturday after Yom Kippur, or for the joyous holiday Sabbath within Succoth.