Weddings and Other Ceremonieson Hoshana Rabba

Which nonsynagogue services, such as tombstone un veilings, funerals, weddings, and so forth, may be conducted on Hoshana Rabba? (From Rabbi Rav A. Soloff, Newark, New Jersey)

The real status of Hoshana Rabba is somewhat blurred by the fact that it has become a sort of final penitential day, the closing of the books of God’s Judgment for the year. Hence, the cantor puts on a kittel, as if it were Yom Kippur, and certain additional piutim are recited, varying according to the specific rituals.

However, in spite of these penitential accretions, the day is the fifth day of Chol Hamo-ed Succoth. Most communities omit the Sabbath psalms and all omit Nishmas (see Isserles to 664: 1). Also, after services, work is permitted. In other words, in spite of its penitential overtones, the day is Chol Hamo-ed.

Which nonsynagogue rituals may be conducted on Chol Hamo-ed? Let us begin with the least important, the ceremony for the setting of tombstones, which has absolutely no basis or status in Jewish law. It is an American development, although occasionally in Europe a sermon would be given under certain special circumstances at the setting of a tombstone. This whole custom in America of tombstone setting has been bitterly objected to by recent pious immigrants; in fact, in Hamaor, their magazine, they declare it should be absolutely abolished. I never participate in these ceremonies, but I know that since it has spread in America, it is difficult for many of our colleagues to avoid it. I mention all this merely to tell you that it has no place in Jewish law and, therefore, there is no regulation about it, and in general there is no reason why it should not be held on Chol Hamo-ed.

As for funerals, because the law is so anxious for burial to take place, whenever possible, on the day of death, funerals are actually permitted on the first day of holidays if non-Jews perform the work; and certainly on the second day of holidays Jews may perform the work involved (see Orah Hayyim 526 :1-4, and Reform Jewish Practice, Vol. I, p. 117). Therefore there is, of course, no objection to funerals on Hoshana Rabba.

With regard to weddings the situation is somewhat dif ferent, and it is a matter of discretion for the following reasons: Orthodox custom prohibits marriage on Chol Hamo-ed generally, because “one should not confuse one joy with another joy”; that is to say, we should not confuse the joy of the wedding with the joy of the Yom Tov. However, we Reformers do officiate at weddings on Chol Hamoed. Nevertheless, I would say that we should avoid weddings, if possible, on Hoshana Rabba, although it is Chol Hamo-ed. This particular Chol Hamo-ed day has in Jewish tradition many overtones of the Yom Kippur penitential mood, and while we do not observe it as such, a wedding would offend many non-Reform Jews. I call your attention to the wording in the middle of page 73 of Reform Jewish Practice, Vol. I: “In Reform congregations, where Chol Hamo-ed is not marked by any especial observances or laws, marriages are often performed.” Hoshana Rabba has this special penitential mood. I would therefore proceed as follows: If it is a small wedding in the study, I would perform it; if a large, festive wedding is planned, I would endeavor to persuade the family to pick another date. All this is merely because of maris ayin, the “look of things,” and the possible negative reaction.