Temple Membership of Mixed Couple

Is it permissible to allow a mixed couple (i.e., in which one of the partners is an unconverted Gentile) to be come members as a family of our congregation? A number of newer congregations and a “Model Con stitution” sent out by the Union of American Hebrew Congregations headquarters suggest that such mixed couples be admitted to congregational membership. Is this justified by Jewish law and tradition? (From Judge Joseph G. Shapiro, Bridgeport, Connecticut and Rabbi Murray Blackman, Cincinnati, Ohio)

According to traditional Jewish law, which in this regard must be similar to laws of other groups, mixed marriage is illegal marriage. Besides the fact that the marriage is invalid according to Jewish law, it is also forbidden as a sin: “. . . neither shalt thou make marriages with them: thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son” (Deuteronomy 7 : 3). The motive for the Biblical law had nothing to do with race or nationality. It is given clearly in the very next sentence of the Bible: “For he will turn away thy son from following Me, that they may serve other gods. . . .” The prohibition against mixed marriage was based upon a religious motivation: to guard the unique Hebrew monotheism against the surrounding paganism. In Maccabean times, the Greek pe riod, when there was a great intermingling of peoples, a still stricter decree was made to forbid even casual non marital sexual relationship between Jew and Gentile (see Sanhedrin 82c). Thus it was recorded as a law in the Shulchan Aruch, Even Hoezer 16.

In the Middle Ages, the fear of pagan idolatry was no longer real, since Christians and Mohammedans are not in Jewish law deemed to be idolaters. Yet these laws continued in force, since the small Jewish communities had to protect their identity against a hostile majority. To preserve the Jewish religion and to preserve the Jewish community amounted to the same thing. There could be no continuation of Judaism without maintaining Jewry, which was in a covenant relationship with God.

One can therefore understand why up to modern times such mixed relationships were considered legally a crime and why, even when informal, they might arouse violent reaction on the part of zealots (kanoin pogin bo).

Thus, the question which is asked here (“May such a mixed couple be granted membership in the congregation?”) would have astounded the Jewry of the past. It could not even be visualized as a remote possibility. So there is, of course, no discussion of such a possibility in Jewish law. We, nowadays, must therefore discuss this question only from the point of view of the spirit of Jewish tradition and of the ideals and aims which we share with the past as being important to protect and to advance.

It must then be said at the outset that it is a sign of general improvement in human relationship on the part of the non-Jewish world that the Gentile member of such a couple can visualize joining a Jewish synagogue. It is also a mark of a greater feeling of fellowship and a diminution of old suspicions on the part of Jews that the question of admitting such a couple can now be seriously raised and discussed. It is a good sign, then, that people are less hos tile to each other. Yet religious affiliation is far different from social friendliness. It is not a good sign that people who do not believe in Judaism at all would be quite willing to join a Jewish congregation and that a Jewish congregation would consider admitting them. This attitude reflects the general indifference nowadays as to the unique nature of the respective religions. People tend to feel that all religions are alike, that all exist merely to teach the Golden Rule or the Ten Commandments, so that it makes no difference to which one you belong. To a convinced Jew or to a convinced Christian such a cavalier attitude cannot possibly be acceptable.

Jewish congregations consist of Jews by birth or by conversion. All who wish to come into Judaism are welcome. No sincere applicant for conversion will be rejected. But we cannot allow the transformation of a Jewish congregation so that it ceases to be the family, the brotherhood, of Israel. Our people and our faith are one, joined in a covenant with God.

Aside from the diluting of Jewish identity, if this process of general admission developed, there would also be a practical problem. Anybody who is admitted as a member may become an officer. Surely it is intolerable that a woman who is a convinced trinitarian should become President of the Sisterhood of the congregation. There is no need to dwell on this question. It must be dealt with according to our feelings, since this new situation could not possibly find precedent in Jewish law.

Although all religious Jews share these feelings, there is to some extent a difference here between Reform and other branches of Judaism in regard to this matter. We would not emphasize the illegality of a civil mixed marriage. To some extent our attitude is the same as Orthodoxy, namely, that we do not recognize it as Jewish religious marriage. Therefore if the Gentile partner is converted to Judaism, we gladly remarry them, and we would consider the earlier part of the marriage retroactively valid. We would encourage the Gentile partner to become a Jew for the sake of the unity of the family. We may be sure that those who suggested the “Model Constitution” admitting such mixed families at once, had this decent motive in mind. Nevertheless, if they could all be admitted without the conversion of the Gentile partner, this policy would diminish the motivation for conversion.

Another difference between Reform and Orthodoxy in this matter relates to burial. Our Reform movement has long decided that a Gentile spouse may be buried in the family plot of the Jewish partner. Therefore, what we say to the Gentile spouse is: We do not despise your marriage. It is, of course, not a Jewish religious marriage, but you can make it so any time you wish by sincerely joining the Jewish faith. In Orthodoxy, your husband would be deemed a sinner. We, however, permit him to be a member of the congregation and allow your children, if you wish, to go to our religious school. But as long as you are a convinced Christian, you cannot be a member of a Jewish religious organization. You could not sincerely join it and we cannot sincerely accept your membership. The door of Judaism is always open to you. We do not urge you, but you are always welcome.