TFN no.5750.9 371-72 - Central Conference of American Rabbis

She’elah
A thirty-year old male with end-stage multiple sclerosis (MS) is a resident in skilled care facility. Though he is

confined to a wheelchair and can do virtually nothing for himself, he is still alert and oriented, and quite capable of

conversation with others. It is quite doubtful whether he could begin and sustain a relationship with a woman, due

to his condition and prognosis.

Yet he is constantly thinking about women, and has begun to address and touch the female nursing staff in

inapproriate ways. He cannot engage in sexual intercourse. Because of his disability, auto-eroticism is not an option,

but he is probably able to achieve orgasm if aroused in other ways.

Given his condition, what Jewishly acceptable options for sexual release does this person have? (Rabbi

Cary D. Kozberg, Columbus, OH))

Teshuvah
The problem which the MS patient faces is as old as human sexuality and has in fact already been mentioned in the

Talmud. There,¹ we find the case of a man who is so lovesick that he is overcome by his erotic

dreams about a certain woman. What should be done with him or for him? One rabbi suggested that maybe if the

woman were to appear naked before him his desire might be stilled. Needless to say, this was rejected as were other

“solutions.” We cite this because it shows that cases of this kind were taken seriously, and our patient deserves the

same attention.

An extensive treatment of the question would involve a general discussion of human sexuality in the light

of Tradition, and of Reform Judaism in particular. It might, for instance, treat of such matters as masturbation, use

of prostitutes, and the like.

But it must also lead us to consider whether the illness of MS which afflicts the patient excuses him from

observing time-hallowed restraints on our sexual behavior. In our opinion it does not. He must be told that nurses

have the right to be treated properly as does everyone else, and that MS does not give him an excuse to harass

them.

However, we have great sympathy for this unfortunate person who is frustrated in so many ways. Since we

do not know any details of his medical condition or of his personal circumstances, we cannot make any useful

prescription which could be deemed unexceptionable.

Consequently, we would leave it to you as the man’s rabbi and counselor, together with the medical authorities

involved, to devise a course of help for him. If you arrive at such a proposed procedure and wish to correspond

further with us about it, please do not hesitate to write.